God is always good and I am always loved. All is grace,

All is grace.

These days, I’ve been in a common state of overwhelm. Overwhelmed by the brokenness in this world. Overwhelmed by the ways hurt and broken people exploit and break others and how the cycle continues. I’ve spent a lot of this season/year internally processing how these things keep continuing. How, even as we’re touring, we’re meeting and staying with people who were exploited by someone that week, abused and hurt by someone they loved. I have, at times, lost hope for my Beloved to cover me and us all with His love. I have been overwhelmed with the size of the problem and need. I have wanted to curl up in a ball and cover my eyes at the brokenness that takes place on a daily basis, even within His body. I have spent time in the “weeping room” – hearing the voices of the abused, the exploited, the forgotten, and the lonely.

All is grace.

I received a call a week ago [right before a screening] that a family member had been found dead. After praying on the phone with his widow and praying over his two children he had left behind, I stepped into a screening and watched the same film I had seen 12 times prior. There’s a specific scene in the When the Saints film where it shows a young girl stepping into the safe home as she sets down her bag [bigger than her]. Every time that scene pops up, I am brought to tears. I think about what she’s feeling. 12 years old. Scared. Overwhelmed. Abused. Exploited. Thankful to be rescued? Expectant. Wondering “why me?”

What’s her story? How did she end up here? How did she become a child slave? Does she have parents who fought for her?

All is grace.

We had two screenings simultaneously last night, so our team had to split up. Cole and I stayed in Jackson and showed the documentary at the We Will Go base. We Will Go is an incredible ministry that has placed themselves where most have told them to flee. The infamous Farish street in known for it high crime level, prostitution, drugs, and poverty. Jesus has used them in crazy ways to minister hope and healing to addicts, homeless, and prostitutes that reside in that area. “$7 will get you a girl on Farish street.” Instead of being cultivated and built up and provided for, these girls are owned and used every day. Last night’s screening was at their base and they invited everyone in the neighborhood to attend. What a beautiful thing to see men and women [who are enslaved]  proclaim their freedom in Christ and take the first step towards healing by confessing their sin. We believe that when you name and validate the sin in your life, you rob it of it’s power.

All is grace.

We [Cole, Emmi, and myself] walked around Jackson this morning, just getting a feel for the city and checking out a few local spots while we had some time. We met Mark, a man who stopped us asking for money. He was clearly homeless and got very frustrated when we explained that we would not give him money, but that we’d love to buy him food and pray with him. He almost yelled as he said, “Praying?? Praying will not get me my prescription. You pray for me when I’m gone, fine, but I’ve tried that and nothing has happened”

We talked to him about vocabulary, and how we can limit God with our words… and that, instead of praying for the prescription to be filled, we were going to pray that he would receive complete healing and would no longer need a prescription. He shook his head and wanted nothing to do with that. He said that God wouldn’t heal him and that all he needed was his prescription. He yelled, “You’ve never been homeless, you don’t understand! You probably weren’t addicted to drugs either.” One of our sweet team members shared their story and past of addiction with him, and told him that Jesus was ultimately the only one that can and will heal the hurt that he feels. That the medication is only a band-aid. By the end of our conversation, with tears in his eyes, he finally said, “You can pray for me now, if you want to.” We each took turns proclaiming identity and healing over his heart and that his lack of faith is limiting God. Once we start expecting great things from God, we are able to receive them. And once we choose to bear the cross of suffering we overcome that suffering.

The theme for this week has been, “All is grace”. All new life comes out of the dark places, and hasn’t it always been? Ann Vosskamp says, “That suffering nourishes grace, and pain and joy are arteries of the same heart—and mourning and dancing are but movements in His unfinished symphony of beauty. Can I believe the gospel, that God is patiently transfiguring all the notes of my life into the song of His Son?”

All is grace, to me, means that these things that we view as "dealbreakers" or we think they discredit a good and loving God, are designed to bid our hearts to "come" and abide. To usher in utter dependence on Him and Him alone. That "this too" [whatever your/my "this" is], is a gift. That too is a gift. We start to understand His heart when we can thank Him for pain. We start understand how tightly knit we are to His heart when we break for the same things that He does. That pain isn't to be avoided, it's to be welcomed as a privilege. Jesus said to his disciples once, "Blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear. For truly I say to you, that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it; and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it" (Matthew 13:16-17).

God is always good and I am always loved.